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A Forum for Parents of Multiples in Singapore
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| Viewing Page 1 of 1 (Total Posts: 3) |
| Author | Comment |
Padmaja
 Nov 21, 06 - 7:35 PM |
Biting - how to avoid
Hi, My B/G twin toddlers are 20 months old. DS is been into biting behaviour for the past 3 months. He does it only when he wants the toy DD is holding. From the past 3 weeks it is getting more worse with all his teeth in place. DD has marks all over her body. Initially I thought it is a phase and it will go away but it is more than 3 months now. I consistently tell him that he should not bite people when he is angry and it hurts DD. Most of the time we try to avoid the situation, but some times when we are not around or just for a sec when your are on some thing else, he does it. I don't know the exact concept of time out. I don't have any cribs / playtents to put him into that. Few times I tried making him sit in a corner and explain in a cool way but with my voice in high pitch. The minute I start it, he starts crying. I am clueless on what to do. I am worried about his behaviour especially if I send him to playgroup next year. Feel very bad for DD for all the marks. Shall I teach DD to defend herself by either running or pushing DS (some how I feel both are not correct)? Appreciate any advice. TIA Padmaja |
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*sasha*
Nov 21st, 2006 - 10:20 PM |
Re: Biting - how to avoid
Hi Padmaja, You might want to check out another topic in the forum under 'Biting@ which was started by Mrs Mani. In any case, I hv pulled out some of the advice I had given for your convenience: First you need to understand why your son bites before seeking to change his behavior. Since babies have limited language (& only a few of us can read minds), we can only make guesses as to why they bite. Preventing biting before it happens is better than dealing with it after it occurs but sometimes it just cant be avoided:) Therefore, you shd carefully observe your son's moods & needs. When he's exhibiting low tolerance for frustration or when he's teething, pay closer attention to him. But here's what you can do after he bites. Firstly, when your son bites his twin, you shd always give the attention to the sister who has been bitten. This will make it clear that biting is not a gd way to get attention. When the other child gets the attention, it sorts of cause the whole thing to backfire. And since your son is still young to understand that other people have feelings, its your job to explain that thru actions. While biting may be a normal phase for children to go thru, as parents, we still need to let them know that it is unacceptable behavior. You want to say firmly 'No biting' or 'We don't bite' & then move on to smthg else. Experts agree we shd try not to give biting so much attention that it becomes an attention-getter. This is true of all behavior that you dont want to see repeated eg: its not a gd idea to laugh because the child sees that he's getting a response & he will do it again. A negative or a positive reaction is still a reaction. As for the naughty corner, I'm not sure if they are still a bit young to understand the concept although there is no harm in trying it. It is absolutely normal that he cries or scream when you put him in the naughty corner as he cannot accept the fact that he is being punished. You shd just leave him alone until the time is up instead of fussing over his cries and/or scream. Also it wld be ideal that after his time-out on naughty corner or chair, that you get him to say 'Sorry' to his sis or give her a kiss & hug. You also mentioned that he bites to get a toy he wants frm his twin sis. Does she usually kick up a fuss when he tries to take toy frm her & refuses to give it to him? And he then wld start to bite her? In this case, you can teach him to toy exhchange. Tell him that if he wants the toy his sis is playing wt, get another toy & exchange it wt her. Get your DD to also co-operate. Hope I help shed some light to your situation :) Cheers! |
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Padmaja
Nov 22nd, 2006 - 11:51 AM |
Re: Biting - how to avoid
Thanks Sasha for the advice. I have gone through the forum before writing the post, but some how I missed Mrs Mani post. I will try out the toy exchange and showing more attention on DD. Hope it will work out and DD is free of marks soon. Padmaja |
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