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A Forum for Parents of Multiples in Singapore
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| Viewing Page 1 of 1 (Total Posts: 3) |
| Author | Comment |
Nora
 Dec 2, 06 - 3:38 AM |
Will they be green eye monsters?
Hi all! My twins are nearly 15mths now. They have been fighting for my attention although there are other adult caregivers in the house. Whenever I carry one, the other would crawl over to beg to be carried. If I put the one I am carrying down so that the two will be on the floor together, it's worse coz the one I was carrying would cry miserably and kick to be carried while the other would cling on me so that I would carry him instead. (Of course I try to be on the floor with them as much as possible.) I worry that they may be jealous of each other as I try my best to give equal attention to each of them but I wonder if there's more I can do. For example when the two are together and I need to carry them ( and both arms are outstretched) who do I carry first? It is worst when my mum in law kept saying "see, see he's jealous.." each time it happens. (I can't shhhh her although it's at the tip of my tongue!) How do you ensure that you give equal attention to both? Regards, Nora |
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*sasha*
Dec 2nd, 2006 - 10:29 PM |
Re: Will they be green eye monsters?
Hi Nora, I completely understand what you are going thru as I hv experienced it myself :) My boys started arnd 6mths old. They are now almost 2yrs old & things seem to hv only gotten better. Lets face it, jealousy worries us parents. It’s common to wonder if we’ve done something wrong. But jealousy is a normal trait not a character flaw & we juz hv to figure out a way to handle it. Children who hv been well nurtured hv very high expectations of their parents. Jealousy in very young children really juz means that they are attached & they are telling you how they feel abt having to share you wt another child, even if its their twin! My advice to is to hang in there. Having twins is not the easiest thing in the world, that's for sure! Kids go thru so many stages & phases & some are a lot easier to handle than others. My best suggestion is to try & not carry them so much especially if it is not necessary. If you do hv to carry one of them, get the other adult caregiver to shower attention wt the other twin by playing wt smthg he/she enjoys. This will hopefully distract him/her. If they both kick up a fuss even after you hv put one down, explain that there is only one mummy & you cannot carry them both & they hv to learn to share & take turns. Then sit yourself on the floor & put them on each lap & hopefully they'll calm down. If they both demand to be carried, try not to give. Instead, juz sit yourself on the floor wt them & engage them in an activity you can all do together. However if situation doesnt permit, while picking up one twin, explain to the other that you will carry him/her up later & tell him/her that nxt time you will carry him/her first. If he/she kick up a fuss, get the other caregiver to carry him/her out of the room to calm him down or distact him/her wt smthg else. On your part, you then hv to remember whom you carried first so you can alternate & give them equality:) Juz keep reminding them abt sharing & taking turns & gradually they will calm down. At least mine did! Hope I helped a little. |
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jen
Mar 26th, 2007 - 4:16 AM |
Re: Will they be green eye monsters?
Hi, I am facing the same problem with my 1 year old twins. They are really fighting for my attention. When I have Twin 1 seated on my lap and the other twin comes along, Twin 1 will push or kick Twin 2 away, cry miserably and cling onto me, while Twin 2 cries loudly too because s/he wanted me, and got pushed/kicked away instead. When I try to comfort Twin 2, Twin 1 cries even louder... Such similar situations keep happening. Any advice what I should do? thanks... |
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