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New to OA...

I am very new to OA. Allow me to tell you a little about myself. I was always the chunky girl growing up. Everyone in my immediate family was. I never really took any notice to it until kids started calling me fat and asking if I was pregnant. My family was never supportive of the way I felt. I think I understand why now though, they never knew. I felt that my grandma and aunt had a lot to do with my emotional feelings though. They always called me overweight and pressured me to lose 30-40 pounds (that has no increased). My aunt is very vocal about everything. She always tells me "You too fat. You need to lose weight." Very hurtful. I feel that I can't go on living the lies that I do, and I need to seek help and be involved in a program. I now know that I can turn to OA.

I have attended 2 face to face meetings. One was about 2 months ago and the second was 2 days ago. I go to AA meetings with my boyfriend, he is required to go to AA meetings due to a program he is in. But I don't feel comfortable talking at AA. A woman came into an AA meeting from OA and I was immediately drawn to her and her story. I do want help in my recovery but I feel embarrassed when I go to a meeting.

I have been doing lots of research on OA and AA. I have the big book and the OA second edition. I want a sponsor but I feel nervous about getting one. I know that if I honestly want to lose the weight, then I have to commit to the program. It just feels so hard to do.

If you have any advice, please feel free to message me with any. Thanks. Nikki