I'm standing on the driveway, the engine sounding sweet,
a pool of Castrol 30-weight starts spreading round my feet.
I drop onto the tarmac, my head close to the floor,
"The sump bolt has let go again...it's rebuild time once more."

I try to get the bonnet off but all the bolts are stuck.
The threads are all well 'rounded' and coated in thick muck.
I see the nuts are metric and all the bolts are Whit
so all the heads will snap off flush when loosened off a bit.

I get a little hammer out and give them all a whack
Then I get a bigger mallet and begin to smack and smack.
A nicely sharpened chisel gets hit against the flats
then slips and jams itself 'twixt radiator slats.

Antifreeze is squirting from out the punctured hole
across the engine bay and onto the starter pole.
A flash of light, a spark, a bang, and all the lights go out.
The battery will be knackered, of that I have no doubt.

I slowly notice warmth rise up from somewhere near my knees
And a smell of burning rubber makes my body freeze.
The sparks have lit the oily mess and flames are rising higher.
I grab my small extinguisher and set about the fire.

By now the flames has risen up to Martin Priors' wood
and the motorcar cremation is progressing 'rather good'.
The body melts, the leather burns and all the glass has 'popped'
"Oh well, look on the good side...at least the leak has stopped."

Location: Cardiff

Not poetic, but moderately funny on reflection. Motoring through the cold but delightful Sussex countryside a few Winters ago, I commented to Christine it's nice to smell the smoke from all the wood burning fires....only to find that the smoke wasn't coming from the countryside, it was coming from the wooden bulkhead of my lovely Swallow Saloon ! The junction box had melted and was frying the wood ! The fire hadn't reached serious proportions so I smothered it with a blanket and proceeded to detach one wire at a time from the box until the engine stopped. When it all had settled down I connected the wire to the battery and set off again on our journey. The chap who we were visiting fortunately had a battery charger as we had a return trip of 50 miles with no functional dynamo and had to use side lights. The Joys of Austin Sevening !

Location: Ferring West Sussex

I'm hoping my typical Austin days are going to be like this afternoon...

For those who don't know manor road - it was a garage now converted to flats, but a requirement of the planning permission was to keep the facade

See pic of the petrol pumps

Location: Hiding away from the Christmas crap

If you look carefully at the photo on one of the first pages of the book 'Original Austin 7' by Rinsey Mills, you'll see a profile of my Grey Ruby taken at the same location over 20 years ago when it was a real garage of sorts run by a reclusive sort of man. I think there's mention of the garage on other threads maybe on this site but certainly Steam Traction ones in connection with some of the great Traction Engine Finds of the last century. An amazing story I think the owner's name was Mr Lilleywhite.

Location: Ferring, West Sussex

How wonderful.
A planning department run by civilised human beings.

Location: Wessex

What a fabulous garage! I'm so glad it's been listed.
At the pub across the road there is this remnant which is now no longer used but I do remember buying petrol for my Norton Dommie in 1969 long before we moved to the village.
The original globe which was circular was stolen a few years back but I managed to find a Not for Retail replacement and a pal did the cut-out logo in vinyl.

My Austin day was spoiled by a major oil-loss, the tappet cover blew the gasket out and there is a sign of the felt seal appearing behind the fan pulley. Doh!
It was such a nice afternoon that I had to go for a spin. I fear major work looms!

Location: Ripon