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British Element Trieste Force 1945 - 1954
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Liverpudlians are really lovely!
For the benefit of my non-British visitors to this forum, a Scouser, or Liverpudlian, is someone who comes from Liverpool. It's just a bit of fun- no insults intended. Why We Love Scousers! ( LIVERPUDLIANS ) A Liverpool girl goes to the welfare office...
Views: 128   Replies: 0
Last Post: Mar 17, 2015 10:08pm
by Larry Southgate
Change of Date for Southampton Meeting
Due to the Election I have decided to change the date of the next meeting at the Encore from 7th May to the 14th May. I hope this will be convenient for those who are likely to attend. I'd like to add my congratulations to the Committee for a great AGM. I was ni...
Views: 91   Replies: 0
Last Post: Mar 17, 2015 5:47pm
by John Barron
Southampton area members' meeting
John Barron has sent me a number of photographs of the group meeting at The Encore, Southampton. This is one; the others are in the Betfor Association album:
Views: 114   Replies: 0
Last Post: Mar 12, 2015 4:24pm
by Harry Dixon
I've had the same problem travelling overseas!!
It can only be South African home affairs... I recently met a Chinese man and his name was Sipho Mthethwa and I asked: "How did you ever get a name like Sipho Mthethwa, being a Chinese man?" "Many, many years ago when come to this country, was stand in line at...
Views: 85   Replies: 0
Last Post: Mar 12, 2015 12:05am
by Larry Southgate
ANNUAL REUNION Bournemouth this Friday to Sunday
Six years ago we were at the Collingwood (2009) just as BETFOR was getting back on its feet. Just about 50 are expected to show up at the seaside. Just one cried off this week through illness, hope everyone else remembers. Of course they will ! If you have a messa...
Views: 125   Replies: 0
Last Post: Mar 11, 2015 1:09pm
by Roy Boyles
WAR HORSES Absolutely beautiful ! Too magnificent not to send on, you'll love the music as well, beautifully played. These horses were originally bred as "war horses" in the days of knights and armor. As armor got heavier, bigger horses were needed and the F...
Views: 89   Replies: 0
Last Post: Mar 6, 2015 8:48pm
by Larry Southgate
A tip for the oldies.
SATURDAY > Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club > with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde-haired > woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm > and who hangs over B...
Views: 97   Replies: 0
Last Post: Mar 1, 2015 9:08pm
by Larry Southgate
Install a water-butt and save water!
You couldn’t make it up. Today, 27 February 2015, I was walking back to my home from the newsagents when I bumped into my next door neighbour. He queried if I could possibly have a two metre length of plastic downwater pipe. I went into my garden an...
Views: 116   Replies: 0
Last Post: Feb 27, 2015 9:37pm
by Larry Southgate
Grandchildren know it all.
Subject: Fwd: Insights from Grandchildren..... 1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "B...
Views: 95   Replies: 0
Last Post: Feb 26, 2015 8:24pm
by Larry Southgate
Life gets tedious, don't it.
Subject: Ramblings of a Retired Mind I found this timely, because today I was in a store that sells sunglasses, and only sunglasses. A young lady walks over to me and asks, "what brings you in today?". I looked at her, and s...
Views: 100   Replies: 0
Last Post: Feb 26, 2015 8:00pm
by Larry Southgate
A chuckle a day.
A chuckle a day ....... Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez. 'How was he killed?' asked one detective. 'With a golf gun,' the other detective replied. 'A golf gun! What is a golf gun?' 'I don't know. But it sure made a h...
Views: 73   Replies: 0
Last Post: Feb 24, 2015 10:21pm
by Larry Southgate
It's a joke!
Emergency Two women had gone for a girls' night out. Both were very faithful and loving wives, however they got a little over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers. Incredibly drunk while walking home, they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery. One...
Views: 109   Replies: 0
Last Post: Feb 23, 2015 9:08pm
by Larry Southgate
Anyone for golf?
FW: Best Genie Joke Ever Husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course. The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! No...
Views: 80   Replies: 0
Last Post: Feb 23, 2015 9:05pm
by Larry Southgate
Think about it!
So beautiful is this story...... The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrin...
Views: 101   Replies: 0
Last Post: Feb 22, 2015 9:51pm
by Larry Southgate
G.ood advice
Mother Superior In a convent in Ireland, the 98-year-old Mother Superior lay dying. The Nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. They tried giving her warm milk to drink, but she refused it. One of the nuns took the gl...
Views: 78   Replies: 0
Last Post: Feb 17, 2015 10:36pm
by Larry Southgate
Sarcasm for the day.
Sarcasm for the day ... 1. I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out. 2. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People move out of the way much faste...
Views: 93   Replies: 0
Last Post: Feb 17, 2015 10:00pm
by Larry Southgate
Invasive species
I don't rail against the grey squirrel these days because they're the only kind we have in this area - and they are impressive acrobats as they leap through the trees. Only a few miles away there is a large colony of brown squirrels and it's great to go and see them...
Views: 135   Replies: 0
Last Post: Feb 17, 2015 7:38pm
by Harry Dixon
Next Regional Meeting
My next Regional meeting will be held at 12.00 on Thursday 7th May at the usual venue, The Encore PH Commercial Road, Southampton. Contact me via e-mail or Tel: 01794 514686
Views: 144   Replies: 0
Last Post: Feb 13, 2015 3:58pm
by John Barron
Boots, boots, boots.
The Winter Boots (Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this) Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her Pupils put on his boots? He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling, and him pus...
Views: 144   Replies: 0
Last Post: Feb 12, 2015 11:00pm
by Larry Southgate
Clouds -- Silver Lining ??
About 9 months ago ? Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady...
Views: 121   Replies: 0
Last Post: Feb 12, 2015 10:55pm
by Larry Southgate
Man's best friend's hungry.
A RETIREE'S LAST TRIP TO COSTCO Yesterday I was at Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Necco, the Wonder Dog, which weighs 125 lbs. I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I ha...
Views: 87   Replies: 0
Last Post: Feb 12, 2015 10:10pm
by Larry Southgate
Some of you may have suffered the morning after??
Flynn staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, Paddy. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Mary. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he ca...
Views: 88   Replies: 0
Last Post: Feb 10, 2015 10:17pm
by Larry Southgate
Start the week off right!
SISTER MARY ANN'S GASOLINE Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, a Texaco Gasoline station was just a block away. She walked to the station to b...
Views: 90   Replies: 0
Last Post: Feb 8, 2015 9:10pm
by Larry Southgate
Advice for all the older guys out there.
I was working out at the gym when I spotted a sweet young thing walking in..... I asked the trainer standing next to me, "What machine should I use to impress that lady over there?" The trainer looked me over and said; "I would recommend the ATM i...
Views: 112   Replies: 0
Last Post: Feb 5, 2015 10:19pm
by Larry Southgate
A few simple truths.
SIMPLE TRUTH 1 Lovers help each other undress before sex. However after sex, they always dress on their own. Simple Truth: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed. SIMPLE TRUTH 2 When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her s...
Views: 118   Replies: 0
Last Post: Feb 5, 2015 9:39pm
by Larry Southgate
Why you did not Get any English beer in December 1951
Morning all. I was going through Lorenzo's disk from Betfor H.Q.papers. The reason given why there would not be any British beer delivered in December was it was being diverted to the troops in Egypt.The reason given was that the local beer was not up to U.K. standa...
Views: 137   Replies: 0
Last Post: Feb 5, 2015 10:10am
by Roland
We need something to cheer us up............
BRITISH HUMOR IS DIFFERENT These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers: FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old, Hateful little bastard. Bites! FREE PUPPIES 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog. FREE PUPPIES. Mother...
Views: 101   Replies: 0
Last Post: Feb 4, 2015 9:46pm
by Larry Southgate
A Serious Matter
I know I've been guilty of gross triviality But now is the time to get back to reality. There's a matter besides which everything pales; England are playing a match down in Wales. It's only a game - but try telling that To a chap from Cwmbran in a daffodil...
Views: 114   Replies: 0
Last Post: Feb 3, 2015 5:03pm
by John Bullshit
An intellectual Exercise.
Subject: An intellectual exercise BY- A CHEMISTRY STUDENT The following is an actual question given on a University of Arizona chemistry midterm, and an actual answer turned in by a student. The answer by one student was so 'profound' that the professor shared...
Views: 91   Replies: 0
Last Post: Feb 1, 2015 10:31pm
by Larry Southgate
Never squat with your spurs on!
Never squat with your spurs on! Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash, was one of the greatest political sages this country has ever known. Some of his sayings: 1. Never slap a man who's chewing tobacco. 2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day. 3....
Views: 100   Replies: 0
Last Post: Feb 1, 2015 10:23pm
by Larry Southgate
What's family?
What's Family if You Can't Joke About It? Two boys were talking and the one said to the other, "I found a really great way of getting adults to do anything I want." The other boy said, "How??" The boy replied, "Just tell people you know their secret." The boy ju...
Views: 89   Replies: 0
Last Post: Feb 1, 2015 10:17pm
by Larry Southgate
The 77 Brigade; newly formed to “win hearts and minds”.
If the idea had been tried in the fifties this might have been the RSM’s introductory address to new recruits: It’s now been decided your country will need yer For a new kind of campaigning by social media. Nah you lot! You’ve signed up for the...
Views: 111   Replies: 0
Last Post: Feb 1, 2015 8:01pm
by John Bullshit
Senior citizens - seriously senile.
They're old but still chuckilerously. : Stop Laughing We're All Seniors Garage Door The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zip was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left you...
Views: 96   Replies: 0
Last Post: Jan 27, 2015 8:19pm
by Larry Southgate
For members' wives only!!
: The Why's of Men 1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX? (because they are plugged into a genius) ----------------------------------------------- 2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX? (they don't have enough time) -------------------------------------------...
Views: 110   Replies: 0
Last Post: Jan 26, 2015 8:48pm
by Larry Southgate
Ink Pt 2
Although I've only installed one cartridge so far, the magenta, I 'm happy with the results. Back to memories of school: Dave you rose to be ink monitor, then. Surely that's the equivalent of RSM - or in your case, (would it be?) SSM. I don't remember the drea...
Views: 123   Replies: 0
Last Post: Jan 23, 2015 8:02pm
by Harry Dixon
It's a hap hap happy day!!
FW: Why I like retirement n: When is a retiree's bedtime? Answer: Three hours after they fall asleep in the recliner . Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb? Answer: Only one but it might take all day. Question: What's the biggest...
Views: 99   Replies: 0
Last Post: Jan 21, 2015 9:22pm
by Larry Southgate
Larry's Prescription
Read one only per day. Have a good chuckle week! Oldies but good The Jewish Elbow… A Jewish grandmother is giving directions to her grown grandson who is coming to visit with his wife. "You come to the front door of the apartments. I am in apart...
Views: 105   Replies: 0
Last Post: Jan 17, 2015 9:02pm
by Larry Southgate
Start the year with a smile.
Senior Humour Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember .. Later that night, while watch...
Views: 89   Replies: 0
Last Post: Jan 9, 2015 10:03pm
by Larry Southgate
Always be careful what you ask for!
KING ARTHUR AND THE OLD UGLY WOMAN Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could...
Views: 103   Replies: 0
Last Post: Jan 9, 2015 9:51pm
by Larry Southgate
A belated New Year greeting!!
Welcome to 2015 HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!! WELCOME to 2015: • Our Phones – Wireless • Cooking – Fireless • Cars – Keyless • Food – Fatless • Tires –Tubeless • Dress – Sleeveless &#...
Views: 107   Replies: 0
Last Post: Jan 7, 2015 9:59pm
by Larry Southgate
Women always have the answer
A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home. On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then...
Views: 131   Replies: 0
Last Post: Jan 7, 2015 9:36pm
by Larry Southgate
Epiphany - La Befana.
Today, 6 January, in Trieste (and the rest of Italy most probably) is the day of the Befana. Epifania = Epiphany. In Trieste, the children are very fortunate. In December, they have San Nicolo, (in Trieste generally about 12 December) when they get given gifts,...
Views: 129   Replies: 0
Last Post: Jan 6, 2015 10:40pm
by Larry Southgate
Lorenzo's Questionnaire.
Good afternoon to all members that log on.I have received a letter from Lorenzo sending His thanks to the eight members who completed His Questionnaire .As most of you did not write their address on the envelope He could not thank you personally so he asked me to pa...
Views: 141   Replies: 0
Last Post: Jan 1, 2015 2:47pm
by Roland
Views: 86   Replies: 0
Last Post: Dec 31, 2014 10:33pm
by Larry Southgate
Problems, problems, problems.
Subject: FW: The Catholic couple Being very religious the young couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: could they possibly get married in Heaven? When...
Views: 105   Replies: 0
Last Post: Dec 30, 2014 11:42pm
by Larry Southgate
Merry Xmas goodwill to all ????
Then, Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more. He went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where. When he b...
Views: 95   Replies: 0
Last Post: Dec 30, 2014 10:51pm
by Larry Southgate
Guido Rosignoli
Our friend, Selvino Ceschia has been in touch and has sent Larry information about Guido's widow who lives in Farnham. Selvino recently asked his son-in-law who works near London, managing an Italian resyaurant, to visit Guido's widow who is in poor health. Guido sta...
Views: 151   Replies: 0
Last Post: Dec 29, 2014 10:23am
by Harry Dixon
Neo-fascists in FVG.
A blitz against neofascist terrorists: arrests executed in Fruili Venezia Giulia. 14 persons have been arrested: all together 44 persons under investigation in many Italian provinces, amongst which are Gorizia and Udine. Some of those under investigation were pl...
Views: 101   Replies: 0
Last Post: Dec 22, 2014 10:47pm
by Larry Southgate
The D- Day Dodgers
It's just 70 years since Lady Astor (is said to have) described the troops fighting in the Italian Campaign as "the d-day dodgers". This great song, full of irony, if not bitterness, refers to their being "always on the vino" and always on the spree". They are the 8t...
Views: 136   Replies: 0
Last Post: Dec 22, 2014 7:27pm
by Harry Dixon
I'm too mean to send a card.
As the subject heading says, I'm too poor and mean to send a card to everyone so: A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY AND MORE PROSPEROUS NEW YEAR 2015 TO ALL MEMBERS.
Views: 91   Replies: 0
Last Post: Dec 21, 2014 9:59pm
by Larry Southgate
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